


Our Last Few Moments Together

by bokuto_ru



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bokuaka - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:49:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokuto_ru/pseuds/bokuto_ru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto is in a life or death situation when Akaashi comes to the rescue but when Bokuto wakes up he no longer recognizes his potential lover?<br/>Akaashi having to deal with the pain of being forgotten, constantly risks his life and does what he can to forget the man he once loved.<br/>Once Bokuto realizes there was more to them he decides to approach Akaashi.<br/>What will he do about it?<br/>Will they reconcile?<br/>Having waited till the last minute, they both regret their decision with sorrowful tears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who are you?

I couldn't move. I knew I was lying on the road. I could feel pieces of ruble beneath me. Every time I tried to move it would carve into my skin. My face was wet, probably from my sweat but that wasn't the case for my clothes. It was drenched in blood and I didn't even know if it was mine. My skin was burning and it was hard to breath. I didn't know what was going on but I knew that I was near a fire as I could feel the heat from the flames embrace me ever so often when gushes of wind passed by. Maybe a building burned down near by?

I could hear car alarms going off, military jet engines roaring and people screaming. But what I didn't understand was why they were telling whoever it was to go away. Were we under attack? I didn't know. I was left in the dark. 

As the screaming of women and the cries of those yet to live a long life faded into the distance, I felt a hand caress my cheek. Who is it? Maybe it's someone I know. Did they come to help me? I was filled with nothing but questions. They continued to caress my cheek with their slim fingers. It felt relaxing and a sense of warmness spread throughout my body. It felt nostalgic somehow. Just then they pulled away and I felt a strong pair of arms slowly lift me from the ground. I groaned in pain as the sharp metal that had pierced though my flesh left my body. "Careful. I don't want him getting anymore hurt then he already is." Their voice. I think it was a man's. "Everything is going to be okay, Bokuto-san," he said softly. Who is he?

I was being carried away by two people now. Everything had gotten quieter as they walked on further but then it suddenly became noisy when we entered a building. Everyone's voice trembled as they spoke except for a few. Had they brought me to safety? Maybe it's a hospital but it felt to hot. Did they not have air conditioning here? After a while they finally set me down. A futon? Maybe it's not a hospital but damn was it hot. Or maybe it was just my body that was overheating from all the blood loss. 

Those same familiar hands came in contact with my skin once again and I could feel myself cooling down by its cold fingertips. They treated my wounds and ever so often I'd let out a scream. I could feel their hands begin to tremble and eventually I felt drops of water fall onto my torso. Maybe there's a leak? Eventually, I no longer felt their presence. They must have left to attend other patients. Silence filled the room and I could no longer take it. I didn't want to be alone. The more time I spent alone the more I realized how bad the whole situation really was. I could hear gunshots just outside. People were screaming in fear and begging to be let go. We were under attack!

"M-my son! He's out there! He's out there somewhere!" A women cried out. Someone else was with her but I couldn't quite hear what they were saying.

I heard the sound of the door open and then close, they must have come to check on me.  
"You're still awake? You should get some rest. You'll never get better like that." It was the same voice I had heard before but before I knew it, my eye lids felt even heavier and I had crawled into a sense of darkness.

After what felt like eternity, I finally woke up and managed to open my eyes. I looked around and there was hardly anything. A file cabinet was blocking the window and there was a single duffel bag by the door and just across the room there was another futon that was neatly folded and tucked in the corner. I manged to sit up despite the pain in my lower back where I had been wounded. But that wasn't much of a problem to me at the moment. Where was I?

I slowly stood up and leaned against the wall for some support when someone walked in. It was a man with short, black hair who's hair curled up ever so slightly at the ends. He had sharp eyes and he was very thin. He seemed a bit shorter than me but not by much. As soon as our eyes met they widened and a smile formed on his lips. Was he happy to see me?

"I see you're already up and at it Bokuto-san! You're so stubborn but I need you to get some rest." He leaned against the door frame, smiling bashfully. He kept his head down, lacing his fingers together and fidgeting around. "If you weren't injured I would have pounced on you by now but I know that'll only cause you more pain. But I'm really glad to see you Bokuto-san." Huh?  
"Ah! Don't worry. You'll be safe here! We have people on the look out and we'll be switching locations soon enough. How does a bed sound?" What's he talking about?

"Oh! I almost forgot! You must be hungry. What would you like to eat? There's hot pot but maybe you should eat something a bit lighter? How about stuffed rice balls? I'll get you the ones filled with teriyaki. They're your favorite from what I remember unless you finally decided on shrimp. You were always a bit indecisive." He looked up and immediately averted his eyes in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I'm talking to much." He kept quiet for a moment but suddenly looked anxious and worried. "Say something! You always say something like, that's rare of you! Usually I'm the one that won't shut up." He held my gaze and his expression eventually became sullen. "Bokuto-san..."

"Who are you exactly?" I blurted out, finally deciding to come out with it.  
I didn't know who he was but he seemed to know me. Maybe we were old acquaintances? He seemed to know quite a bit about me but I couldn't even recognize him. He bit his bottom lip, his arms slowly dropping to his sides and an expression filled with nothing but pain overtook the smile he once had on. 

After realizing that I had been watching him and didn't avert my gaze he immediately put on a forceful smile. "I'm sorry. We don't really know each other. I got your name from your ID and took a guess as to what your favorite food might be. You had a grocery list with you. " He chuckled. He extended his hand out and introduced himself, "I'm Akaashi."


	2. I Don't Understand

After eating a hefty meal and going against Akaashi's wishes, a man named Kuroo began to make an announcement.  
"It seems that we may be staying here a bit longer. It's nearly impossible to leave at the moment. We'll be keeping an eye out and once we see that it's clear, we'll make our move. For now, I suggest everyone enjoy their meals and get some rest."

He looked around the room when our eyes suddenly met. He made his way towards me and cocked his head to the side. He was tall and seemed very well built. He had black, spiky hair and wore a red jersey that read Nekoma. "I've never seen you before." He seemed to be cautious of me.  
"Upon what time was your arrival?" He asked as he sat down in front of me and gulped down a beer.  
"I'm not sure. I was pretty much passed out when I got here."  
He seemed to be observing me as his gaze didn't leave me. "Akaashi!" After being called upon he made his way towards us. Kuroo whispered in his ear and Akaashi just nodded ever so often. After a few minutes of interrogation he walked away, not so much as a glance in my direction. He looked bothered. 

My eyes continued to follow him throughout the day. He was always surrounded by people, sharing a few laughs here and there but held more painful expressions than anything.  
"What are you looking at?" I jumped at the sudden question and realization that someone had been watching me.  
"Uh, nothing." It was Kuroo. He had his arms folded across his chest as he looked in Akaashi's direction.  
"He's beautiful isn't he?" A chill ran down my spine.  
"Uh, I guess so." I could feel my cheeks turn hot.  
"He has really nice hands too," Kuroo added in, nodding satisfyingly.  
"H-he always looks so sad to me," I mumbled. It was sort of embarrassing. I didn't want Kuroo to think I was into him and constantly watching over him.  
"So you've noticed? I thought you wouldn't. You have to watch him closely to come to that conclusion." He leaned against the beat up wall and looked displeased.  
"D-did he lose someone close to him recently?" As soon as that question left my mouth I felt instant regret. Of course he did. Everyone did. There was a war going on outside. The world was a disaster. People lost their families and friends.  
"Yeah. It was someone really close to him. He loved him a lot but then one day they suddenly decided to abandon him." So he was killed. I nodded but only earned a click of the tongue. He turned away and stopped at the end of the hall, his back facing me. "I don't want you near Akaashi." Huh? 

A few days had passed. I was sitting inside my room and looking out the window through the crack between the file cabinet and frame. A few people that were helping with the search party were dragging a lady and her kid along. She continued to shout and fling her arms around to break free from their grip but it was to no avail.  
"Let me go, let me go!" She shouted with tears in her eyes.  
I never once questioned them. I never once thought they were the terrorist. They treated me kindly from the start. If I was a prisoner wouldn't I have been chained up and deprived from food? 

After sunset, Kuroo asked for a few volunteers to raid some stores for food and medical supplies. Everyone was gearing up and loading up their guns, waiting for the their next orders when Kuroo headed back upstairs. He must have forgotten something. I follow behind, wanting to ask him something that's been weighing on my mind recently when I hear him talking to someone in which appears to be Akaashi.  
"I don't know what to do. I just can't stand seeing him." Huh? Who's he talking about?  
"I know it's hard but you'll just have to cope with it for now."  
"I suppose." He stuffed his face in his hands, tugging on his hair, frustrated. He tied the laces to his boots and slowly stood up.  
"I'll join you!" I blurted out without realizing what I had done. Akaashi's eyes widened liked saucers in surprise before looking away.  
Kuroo gave me a strong glare before pulling me along. "Were you listening to our conversation?"  
"I-I didn't hear much. Only that he couldn't stand seeing a certain someone." Kuroo finally let go of me before pushing me against the wall in anger. "W-who was he talking about?"  
Kuroo cocked his head to the side as if questioning why it even mattered to me but I myself didn't know why I was so hung up on it either. I didn't know why Akaashi constantly ran through my mind or why everything he did even mattered to me. I didn't know and it all it did was give me a sense of loss. 

After Kuroo finally let me go he handed me a gun and showed me how to work it. "Be careful and don't make me regret my decision for letting you come along." 

The building we were in was three stories high. It seemed to be an old office building. Desks were all piled up to work as a barrier and block the doors. Some were nailed shut and even bolted. The first floor had been blocked completely. The only way up here was to take a ladder and climb up but thankfully this building was made like those in the boonies. The ladder was already built in. It led up to the second and third floor. All you had to do was pull down the ladder in order to get up and then pull it back up so no one else could climb it and instead of a window it was a door. How convenient.

Kuroo led the pack outside, taking slow but skillful movements, checking every corner and signaling to everyone that it was safe. Akaashi was in the farthest back, keeping an eye out for any approaching enemies and keeping the pack together. He seemed to be the second in command. Although he had a calm emanation, I heard from others that he was actually very oppressive. Something that didn't suit his image. 

We entered the supermarket with no complications whatsoever, everyone sighing in relief. Everyone started stocking up on food and filling duffle bags up with the much needed necessities.  
I walked down the aisles, catching a glimpse of Akaashi's curly hair turning the corner. I rushed towards him, trying to think up a conversation when my attention turned to what he was holding.

"Tampons?" He gave me a quick glance, slowly nodding. He seemed to be choosing very carefully. "Why are you getting tampons?" Akaashi gave me a no brainer look before he grabbed a hold of another box. 

"Which one should I choose?" He mumbled. He knitted his eyebrows, a dark shadow casting over his eyes. At this point he might explode. As if feeling my stare he says, "I've never bought tampons before. This is my first time. The women said they needed it."  
He shoved one of the boxes he was holding into my chest before grabbing another one and examining the box closely. 

"H-hey! I don't want to touch this stuff!" I blurted out as he continued to stuff more and more boxes into my arms. 

"You're not touching the thing itself, why are you freaking out?" I opened my mouth to say something but didn't really have a counter attack so I kept quiet. "I thought so. You've always been so immature when it came to stuff like this. Even condoms."

"What?" He quickly looked up at me before lowering his gazing.

"No. Nothing." For a second, I could have sworn I saw that painful expression of his before he walked away. 

"Akaashi... Wait!" He suddenly halted and held his hand up, signaling me to keep quiet but I had thought it was only to keep me from talking to him so I continued to banter. "No, Akaashi. Listen to me!" He gave me an intense glare before pushing me back a bit. I grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards me, my other hand landing on his shoulder, slamming him against the store shelves, earning a surprised look. Our faces were only a few centimeters away, our foreheads almost touching.  
His eyelashes were long and I could see the tiniest of freckles around his cheekbones. His eyes were a slate-grey-blue. He wore a slightly flushed look but immediately looked away when the sound of a can fell to the floor. His eyes widened in panic. 

I looked over my shoulder only to see something completely unexpected. His face was sunken in, eyes unfocused. His mouth twitched and drooled as if craving for something, anything, us. The smell of his rotting flesh made my stomach churn. His fingers were dripping with blood. His skin was discolored, a slight shade of black and green mixed in. His skin was falling apart, away from his muscle, revealing a few of his aged bones. 

Akaashi was frozen in place before realizing the situation we were in. He quickly grabbed his gun, aiming for the creature I had only ever heard of in stories. Akaashi pulled the trigger but nothing happened. It must have been jammed. Akaashi quickly ejected the bullets to put in a new clip but it didn't seem to go in properly. 

Before we knew it, it had started to make its way towards us with a sense of determination. We ran down the aisle, dropping everything we had collected up to this point. I aimed my gun towards the soulless man, missing every single shot but a few. The bullets pierced through both his arms, his right shoulder and leg but nothing more. It wasn't enough to kill him but it earned us a minute or two to get away but it only seemed to anger him more. He continued to chase us, his torn flannel flapping in the wind. 

I was scared. I didn't know what to do. "A-akaashi, w-what do we d-?" I immediately halted no longer feeling his presence beside me. I look back only to find Akaashi pinned down by that green monster. I could feel my heart stop. Akaashi. What are you doing? You're gonna get hurt. My vision began to blur. I'm scared. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose him! 

Little by little, I could feel myself finally starting to move. "Akaashi," I whispered to myself continuously, making it my goal to get to him, to save him. I could hear Akaashi's harsh breathing. He was tired. 

Akaashi! Just as I made my way towards them the creature suddenly fell forward, collapsing on top of him. "Akaashi!" Akaashi groaned and simply pushed the limp body aside. "Akaashi! Are you okay?" I reached my hand out, Akaashi ignoring my helpful gesture and proceeding to wipe his face off with his sleeve and dust his pants off as soon as he got up. 

"Akaashi! What were you doing?! You could have died!" He simply groaned. "Akaashi-"

"Shut up! Just shut up! This wouldn't have happened if you would have just kept your mouth shut when I signaled you to!" He stood tall, his face red and his slim hands clenched onto his pants. It hurt me to know that I could have possibly caused his death but none the less he was right. It was my fault. 

"I was trained for this. I couldn't just run away and lead them to the others because of your stupidity. I had to do something," he mumbled angrily. He pushed past me, revealing a tall figure before me. One that I had not realized was there before our banter.  
He looked at me with eyes full of pity and pure hatred, reminding me of our conversation a few days ago. He didn't want me near Akaashi, I knew that but I can't seem to stay away. I feel the need to protect him but all I do is cause him trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that maybe things seem a bit rushed because of how protective Bokuto is of Akaashi already but that's only natural. Bokuto's feeling should still remain even though he lost his memories if you didn't catch that in the first chapter.  
> Things will be more thoroughly explained in the next chapter. Please look forward to it and leave some feedback! :)


	3. I Wish it was Me

We returned back to our hideout after the incident but after a few minutes Kuroo and the rest left to raid a few more stores, leaving me and Akaashi behind. Akaashi had twisted an ankle when he fought against that corpse. I was expecting a scolding from Kuroo but he didn't seem to have anything to say. Akaashi hadn't said word to me either. 

I sat against the wall when I heard the clacks of wooden sandals against the floor. I immediately stood up, running towards the door and slamming it open, surprising the old woman on the other side.  
"Bokuto-san. You scared me," she said relieved, knowing she wasn't in real danger. She was holding a tray of food along with a bag of ice gripped in one hand.  
"Is that for Akaashi?" She looked down at the tray and nodded. "Would it be alright if I took it to him?"  
"You're so sweet!" She giggled. "I'm still very capable of doing these things myself. I'm not that old you know." Huh?  
"I got it sweety! No need to worry about this poor old women." Uh...  
"U-uh of course but I'm sure you have better things to do than taking care of an injured, spoiled brat that will give you nothing but trouble!" I snatched the tray and bag of ice from her hands, turning my back towards her in order to keep her from grabbing a hold of things once again.  
"B-but Akaashi-kun isn't spoiled. As of matter in fact he is quite the gentleman and he's very thoughtful of others. He's very selfless."  
"Well it appears that you don't know him as much as I know him! He's absolutely selfish! He's always stealing my food and he never lets me borrow any of his things," I said, looking over my shoulder. Ah! Maybe this will cut it! "He's very selfish in bed too. He's always begging for more and never thinks of my health or how tired I actually am after spending all my energy on making him feel good," I groaned.  
The sweet old lady's face turned a bright red, her hand covering her mouth, keeping her from letting out a yell of excitement.  
"I-I didn't know you two were that close... I'll let you carry on then." She fanned her face with her hand, a smile on her face before walking away.  
"I'm sorry Akaashi," I whispered to myself. 

I opened the door to the room he was now staying in. He had moved out of my room a while ago to let me have some space or so he says.  
Akaashi was sitting at the edge of his bed, reaching into his nightstand, groaning in the process.  
"What are you doing? You're suppose to be resting!" Akaashi turned to look at me with a surprised expression but immediately turned it into a cool one. 

"What are you doing in here?" He closed the drawer to his nightstand and straightened his posture.  
"I came to check on you. How's your ankle?"  
"Could be better," his eyebrow twitched.  
"R-right." I could feel beads of sweat build up on my forehead as I began to laugh nervously. "I-I brought you some food and an ice pack." I sat the tray down on the night stand when Akaashi snatched the ice pack away. "Nooooo!" I reach out in order to grab it but he pulls his hand away, above his head. As I reach out once again he brings his hand further behind his back.  
Without realizing it I had crawled up on the bed with Akaashi pinned down underneath me. He looked up at me, his cheeks flushed and his lips slightly parted. His shirt was open revealing his soft skin and slim body. He was absolutely tempting.  
"Akaashi," I mumbled quietly, not able to keep my eyes off of him.  
"B-bokuto-san, please don't look at me like that." He looks away bashfully, only making himself more vulnerable.  
Just as I lean in closer, what sounds like a book falls to the ground as if signaling us not to continue.  
I slowly sit up, my body still on top of his. He turns to look at me before I finally decide I should get off.  
"I'm sorry." I avert my gaze and sit criss-cross on the floor in front of him as he sits up. "How's your ankle? Kuroo told me you sprained it when you fell at the supermarket." I take the ice pack and gently place it on his swollen ankle but despite it being so swollen, his ankles fairly thin like a women's.  
He flinches due to the coldness before giving me a simple, "it's fine". 

After a moment of silence Akaashi decides to speak up. "Bokuto-san... I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that," he said very quietly as if mimicking a mouse. 

"No. It's okay. You shouldn't be apologizing. It was my fault after all for not listening to your orders. I'm sorry." I grunted. "It's just that I wanted to know what you meant by what you said. So many remarks have been made towards me and it's as if I'm even suppose to know what they're talking about."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like at the supermarket. I heard what you said." Akaashi's eyes widened as if his secret had been revealed, whatever that might be. "We've never been shopping together before and why would we even be buying condoms together in the first place?" Akaashi's cheeks seemed to flush. 

"Bokuto-san. I've been meaning to ask you something... Why do you even bother with me?" Huh? "We've... never met until just recently yet you seem to always be looming around me."

So he's noticed. But even I myself don't know why. I don't have an answer to that. Well, nothing I can really prove. "I feel as if we've actually known each other for a long time. Maybe we knew each other in our past lives! How cool would that be?" But Akaashi didn't seem the least bit excited about that. "Maybe that's why I feel so protective of you." 

Akaashi didn't say a single word after that. It also came to me that he had avoided my question but I didn't bother touching that topic again.

"I'm going to go get more ice." As I stand up, I feel my boot slide against the carpet. That's weird. I look down only to find out that I'm stepping on top of a picture. Once I get a better look I see that It's a picture of Akaashi with a Minnie mouse headband on. He's smiling profoundly.

"So that's what he looks like when he smiles," I think to myself. How incredibly cute.

I look to the floor only to find tons more. They're all scattered against the floor.  
I pick up the photo album that's near the bookshelf, a few more photographs making it to the ground. This is what must have fallen during our little moment. 

"What is it Bokuto-san?" I turn to look at Akaashi who suddenly grows pale as if he's seen a ghost. "B-bokuto-san. Please don't worry about that. I'll clean it up!"

"You need your rest Akaashi." I shake my head not giving in to his pleas. I kneel down, stretching my arms out and scooting them all towards me before picking them all up in one swift move. I set them down on his bed in which Akaashi lets out a sigh of relief. 

I leave the room and head down to our tiny "kitchen" in which in reality is just a cooler and a burner set beside one another. I replace the ice pack and head back upstairs to Akaashi's room when I hear Akaashi quietly mumbling to himself. He isn't losing it is he?!

"Akaashi." I knock before entering. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing Bokuto-san!" He begins to shove all of the photos that had fallen out back into the album without really putting them inside the pockets.

I grab onto the edge of one of the photos that had been sticking out and examine it carefully, my eyes going wide. "Akaashi..." As soon as I turn to him he immediately snatches the photo out of my hands in a panic. 

He immediately stuffs the photo back in with the rest before covering it up with his pillow.  
What was that? Akaashi's face was a beet red in the picture. He was looking down with a broad smile on his face as a pair of lips were in contact with his cheek. I couldn't see who it was. Their face had been cut off completely as it seems that they were the ones that took the picture and tried to fit into the frame but failed.  
I only managed to see a few black strands of hair sticking out from the fellow. I could have seen the tiniest bit more but the persons finger also managed to mess up the picture.  
But none the less, I knew it was a guy.

"Akaashi, you like guys?" Akaashi immediately turned his head to face me despite his face being the color of a tomato. "If that's that case then what I said to the old lady earlier doesn't really matter."  
Akaashi cocked his head to the side before asking me what I was talking about.  
"Nothing." I chuckled. "So, are you a top or a bottom?" I grinned before sitting down on his bed.  
"Bokuto-san why-"  
"You seem like you're on the receiving end. You have really nice skin and you're pretty slim. I think that would be every seme's dream within an uke. To have them be a male but have a body like a females minus the breast."  
"Bokuto-san, I don't like being-"  
"But you also seem like you could be a seme despite your looks. I bet you can give it pretty rough in bed, eh?" I grinned which only caused him to turn a darker shade of red.  
"But what were you gonna say Akaashi?" I lay back on his bed with my arms crossed behind my head.  
"Nothing Bokuto-san."  
"Mmm... This must also mean you're pretty good at giving blow jobs then, huh? How about trying me out?" I sat up and looked at Akaashi with a smirk in which he simply began to look around in panic and avoid eye contact. "I'm just kidding!" I plopped myself back on the bed, belting out in laughter.  
"What about you Bokuto-san?"  
Huh? "No. I've never given anyone a blowjob." I laughed once again. How ridiculous.  
"No. I'm not talking about that. I was asking you if you had someone special in your life."

"Ah." After thinking it over a bit I finally decided on, "nope!" Akaashi looked as if my answer wasn't what he had expected. Maybe my answer was a bit to... dull? Is that the right word for it? Sigh. "I guess there is someone special but I have no idea who they are. I just know that I'm in love because of how warm I always feel inside."

Akaashi began fidgeting with his hands which felt all to familiar for some reason. 

I slowly sat up, my eyes on the ground. "Neh, Akaashi. What happened to him? What was he like?" I knew I shouldn't have asked that. I'm probably only causing him more pain by making him remember such a thing but I couldn't help being curious. 

He took a deep breath before beginning to describe him with every single precious detail of nature. He was swift as the wind and cradled him to sleep by his soft touch. The rain represented the tears they shared together through their hardships in life. It reminded him that he was always there for him when it rained even if he himself was not present at the moment. The grass reminded him of his precious lovers hair, soft but pointy. The sun. He was warm and always took good care of him. He was always filled with excitement, a playful personality. He was bright but also dim like the moon at times and secretive and his smile was as beautiful and refreshing as the cherry blossoms that bloomed in spring. 

Akaashi spoke with a smile that never seemed to leave whenever he spoke of the person he loved ever so dearly and as he continued to speak, all I could think of was, how I had wished he was talking about me. I wish he was talking about me. The way his eyes lit up. I wish that was the way he looked whenever he spoke of me. The way he smiled bashfully and looked away, I wish that was the way he looked whenever he spoke of his love towards me. His soft voice, I wish it was directed towards me instead. Everything. I wish it was all for me. Oh how I would love to see his eyes sparkle whenever he talked about something he loved to me. Seeing his bashful expressions whenever he tells me he loves me or whenever he gets nervous when I touch him. How I wish it was all mine but unfortunately it's not. It all belongs to someone else. Although he's no longer here. It still belongs to him and only him. Not me. I don't even remotely have a chance when that person is so selfishly keeping his heart for himself. But there's nothing wrong at giving it try, right? Wrong. He doesn't have room in his heart for anyone else. Not even me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tons of angst and fluff coming up. :)


	4. First Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long to update! I've been incredibly busy and super sick. I also decided to change up my style of writing. I changed into the narrator's pov instead of always having it only be Bokuto's pov. I wanted to be able to add more detail and having it only be Bokuto's pov I was very limited. I also apologize for my chapters being so short and this chapter might be crappy in particular but I promise you it'll get better. 
> 
> Please tell me what you think! Thank you!

Bokuto looked at Akaashi with a smile but with a glint of sadness in his eyes just like Akaashi had worn for while now.

Akaashi hated the fact that Bokuto didn't know he was actually talking about him, that he couldn't remember him but he could remember everything else. He hated how he couldn't remember the first time they met on the train. They were strangers then just waiting to arrive at their next destination and complete whatever task they had in mind at the moment when Bokuto bumped into Akaashi as he ran past the sliding doors. "I'm sorry!" Bokuto shouted as he continued to run, only sparring a glance in which seemed to paralyze him. He stood there for a minute or two until Akaashi disappeared out of sight. The same routine continued. "I'm sorry!" He said again and again but Akaashi didn't really seem to mind. He knew everyone was in a rush. It was only understandable. But as time went on, Akaashi came to realize that it had been done on purpose. He thought he was being bullied for a second but believed that, that really wasn't the case.

Bokuto inched in closer and closer till eventually their shoulders touched with every sudden stop that tugged them in one direction. Akaashi tried his best to avoid the boys, big, honey colored eyes that peered at him all throughout the train ride. "Why is he starring? Maybe there's food on my face," Akaashi questioned, touching his face and making sure a piece of rice didn't stick to his chin or his cheek from the onigiri he had eaten earlier.

"I haven't eaten anything today. Is my hair a mess? But it looks the same as always." He would begin to fidget and adjust his clothing as discreetly as possible thinking that maybe that was also the case. "My jackets buttoned properly. My shirt tail isn't sticking out is it?" Until one day the spiky haired boy finally decided to speak up. "I think you're really beautiful. I'm sorry for always staring but I couldn't help it."  
Akaashi was glad that everything he thought was wrong with him was indeed just in his mind but even so, he turned a bright crimson red.

The same routine continued but Bokuto was no longer eager to get to where he had to be which resulted in less bumping into each other. They stood beside each other holding onto the railings without so much as exchanging a word at first.  
Akaashi would read a book and ever so often Bokuto would ask him a question. "What's happening? Did he die? I hope he does. I don't like him." Akaashi would answer every question he had without so much as an exasperated sigh that he earned from everyone else around them from his constant questioning. 

"What book is it today?" Bokuto would ask curiously as he leaned down to peer at the book cover. "Oh. Haiku poems." This seemed to give Bokuto a sudden idea. He decided to write his own Haiku's and sneak them into Akaashi's bag to surprise him. Akaashi noticed the first time but didn't say anything since he knew Bokuto wasn't trying to steal anything, especially when he was being so obvious. It continued for about a week, Akaashi feigning ignorance to give Bokuto the chance to slip in his new creation every time.

Akaashi read them all. He never wasted any time. With every chance he got he would read them even though his schedule was always so busy. Akaashi didn't throw them away either. He thought it would be rude to throw away something someone had put so much effort and time into writing for him and stressing over whether they were going to get caught stuffing their hand into someones else's bag. No. Akaashi kept them all tucked away safely in his nightstand. He would read them all over and over again before falling sleep every night, strangely enough. It came to the point where Akaashi was actually looking forward to Bokuto's next one but grew disappointed when he stopped seeing those little slips of paper in his bag. He wondered why Bokuto had stopped. Maybe he ran out of ideas. 

Bokuto noticing Akaashi's disappointment, he decided to speak up. "I didn't know whether you liked them or not so I thought that if I handed them to you instead you would comment on them when I see you again but I also decided against that. I think it's best to say it straight up." 

You could hear Akaashi's heart screaming from inside his chest. Bokuto was great with words and his poems were magnificent. They always seemed to strum one of Akaashi's heart strings. Now imagine the effect it would have on him, having the person he had grown close to in such a little amount of time, reciting his hand written notes specifically made for him. He wasn't prepared for those enormous, golden eyes of his to peer into his own. He knew it would have a great impact on him and it scared Akaashi since he could already describe that warm feeling in his chest. 

Eventually, Akaashi stopped showing up. He no longer rode the train at the same time as Bokuto, he rode it later or not at all. They didn't stand beside each other and talk about the random-est stuff anymore. They didn't share laughs, not even glances. They didn't see each other again. Bokuto wondered where he had gone off to. He thought that maybe Akaashi moved away. Bokuto would arrive at the absolute earliest to see if maybe he would spot Akaashi somewhere. He even stayed until the last train but he never did see him. That did it for Bokuto. His shoulders would slump forward and a frown often appeared on his face which made everyone around him question what had happened to him to make him lose such a cheerful personality.

Akaashi wasn't able to pay close attention to his studies anymore which resulted in him failing a class and then dropping it. Everyone had questioned what happened to him to make him lose his focus also. Akaashi missed Bokuto too. He wished he could have continued their little fiasco but Akaashi had grown busier than ever. He started doing internships and attending job interviews with a friend. Eventually he was hired as a waiter in a fancy diner not to close from his university and he didn't manage to go home till late at night in which a coworker would drive him home. He didn't have time to ride the train but he would always try his best to at least catch the last one. He wanted to know whether Bokuto was there waiting for him or not and he was. 

As Akaashi reached the platform, gasping for air, his hair an absolute mess and dark circles under his eyes; he caught a glimpse of black and white, spiky hair already making its way into the train to sit himself down before it left without him. Akaashi would call out to him in his mind, picking up his pace, wearing out his tired legs. Akaashi had wished he could talk to him again, just once but he was happy knowing that Bokuto had been there waiting for him. 

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and the seasons changed along with them. They had both hoped that fate would eventually make them cross paths again even if it was a year from then. They would enter a convenience store and keep an eye our for each other or wait for someone to make a sly comment over their shoulder over their choice of ice cream. They slowly turned the corners as if expecting they would cross paths then, slowly, step by step, anticipating one another but they knew that it just wasn't the day. They would stop at the corner before looking to see who was coming their way. It's as if they were holding onto the little bit of hope they carried in their chest before meeting with disappointment. "Nope," they both sighed. 

After arriving home, Bokuto was met with his roommates cheerful smile. "I got us a double date!" He said excitedly. Bokuto didn't refuse since he knew that maybe something good would come from this. 

They arrived at a small diner in the city. It looked like a regular cafe from the outside but it was pretty fancy on the inside. Bokuto and his roommate were seated in a booth across from each other as they waited for their dates. They started off with ordering some water before his roommate began describing Bokuto's initial blind date. Bokuto had expected his blind date to be a guy since his roommate was gay and his description met up with a guys. For a second, he even wondered if it could be Akaashi. He hoped it was. By what he had heard, they had a lot in common. They both had weird taste in ice cream and shared the same hobbies. As a matter in fact, Bokuto began gleaming in pure excitement as he waited for that short, black hair to enter through the diners entrance but Bokuto was met up with disappointment. His roommates date was indeed a guy but his was not. In front of him stood a very short girl, at least compared to him she was. She had long, blond hair that reached all the way to her lower back. She had a section of her hair pinned up, a few strands of hair falling out of place. She smiled excitedly but Bokuto couldn't return his smile with the same excitement. 

Not much longer, Bokuto had met up with who he had hoped was his date but instead of coming in from the entrance, he came out from inside the kitchen. "Are you ready to order?" Akaashi's voice traveled it's way into Bokuto's right ear and out the other as he lost all sense of self control. Just as he was about to call out to Akaashi, the blond haired girl tugged on Bokuto's shirt, asking him to order for her since she didn't know what to get. Bokuto knew within that moment that he shouldn't act on instinct. He was doing this to help out his friend. 

Bokuto's eyes met up with Akaashi's who looked at him with fondness. He could have also sworn he saw a smile creep on Akaashi's face.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for clicking on this story. I hope you enjoyed it and make sure to leave some feedback!


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